How can I be more honest with others and honest with myself? How can I be more authentic in my daily life?

If you find yourself asking these questions, you’re not alone. Being honest and authentic doesn’t always come naturally. It can feel difficult to say what’s truly on your mind and be honest with how you’re feeling.

I always admire those who are unapologetically themselves and authentic in their words and actions. It’s something I’ve personally been working on because being real and honest, especially in an overly-filtered world, is so important.

The other day a friend asked me if I could give them a ride home. Normally, I’d be happy to do this except during that particular day there was a big local event making traffic really bad. Giving this friend a ride home would mean I’d probably spend a good chunk of my time sitting in traffic.

Previously, I probably would’ve said, “Sure!” without missing a beat.

But since I’m working on being more authentic and honest, I told my friend the truth. “Normally I would, but there’s supposed to be a ton of traffic so I’m going to go straight home today. Sorry!”

Being honest and authentic in the moment isn’t always easy or comfortable. It can feel awkward, scary, and totally uncomfortable. Especially if you dislike confrontation or letting people down.

It’s easier to say, “Sure!” to plans even when you don’t want to, or to tell a friend, “That outfit looks great!” when it actually looks awful. But without honesty and authenticity, your relationships won’t be as strong and sustainable. You also are more likely to burn out, be taken advantage of, and feel resentful.

So whether you tell big lies, white lies, or just don’t feel authentic to yourself, I’m going to share some secrets to help you become more honest and authentic in your daily life!

*I’m not a licensed mental health therapist. To find a professional, call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit Betterhelp to get matched with a therapist for affordable online therapy anywhere, at any time. This post contains affiliate links. Read my full disclosure policy here.

What are the benefits of being more honest and authentic?

Since practicing ways to be more honest and authentic, I’ve experienced important benefits. Being more honest has allowed me to feel more empowered in my relationships, build more trust with others and myself, and feel more authentically aligned with who I want to be.

You’ll feel more empowered

It’s an empowering feeling to say what’s on your mind without trying to censor or filter it. That doesn’t mean you need to start being disrespectful or say absolutely everything that’s on your mind, but being more honest will start to feel really good.

Say which restaurant you want to eat at instead of saying, “You choose”.

Give your honest opinion to a friend if you think it’s what the really need to hear.

You have valid thoughts, feelings, opinions, and ideas. Being more authentic and letting more of your “true self” shine through will benefit everyone around you! There’s nothing more empowering than saying how you feel and being unapologetically yourself!

It’s easier to build trust

Relationships are built on trust and if someone can’t trust you, then your relationship isn’t going to be strong. If you’re always sugar coating the truth, telling white lies, or being inauthentic, others are going to notice.

Next time they have a question and want your genuine opinion, they probably aren’t going to trust what you have to say. Some of my favorite people on this planet are the friends that just give it to me straight and tell it to me like it is!

It is so refreshing to have those friends who will let you know when you have something in your teeth, who will tell you if your overreacting, and are honest enough to tell you when you’re about to make a dumb mistake. I love, trust, and cherish those friends.

I don’t want friends who only say what they think I want to hear, and I doubt you do either! So be an honest friend and you’ll find building trust is so much easier to do.

You feel more aligned with yourself

When you’re totally honest and authentic, you’re going to feel aligned with the highest version of yourself.

When you’re not being honest, you’re probably going to feel guilty, “fake”, and just not yourself. It’s going to be harder to form close relationships because people won’t feel like they know the “real you.” And you won’t feel like you’ve shared the “real you”.

Who wants to walk around feeling like they can’t even be themselves? That’s an awful way to live!

So be unapologetically honest and authentic, and you’ll feel more aligned with your best self!

How can I be more honest and authentic?

Now that I’ve shared a few examples and benefits, let’s dig into 3 practical tips to help you become more honest and authentic!

1. Be more honest with yourself

Honesty starts within. You can’t be honest and authentic with those around you if you’re not first honest with yourself. One way to be more honest with yourself is to practice developing your self awareness. When we are introspective about who we are, how we’re feeling, and what we want, it’s easier to be intentional with our actions.

For example, if you’ve been telling lies to your friends, it’s a good idea to ask yourself why and explore that deeper. Maybe you’re insecure with yourself or have low self esteem. Or maybe you have a fear of rejection so you lie because you believe that’s what will help you be accepted.

Asking yourself these deeper questions can be difficult, but I think it’s necessary to truly look inside yourself for the answers. Do a little journaling for self awareness, seek out a counselor, or just spend some time alone thinking about it.

2. Pause before speaking

Pausing before speaking has really helped me become more authentic in my life. So often we have these automatic responses, like saying “Sure! I’ll do that!” when someone asks you to go out of your way. Or saying “Good!” when someone asks us how we’re doing, even if we’re having an awful day.

Taking a moment to pause before we answer, can give us the time to consider what we need to say that’s going to be honest and authentic.

It’s ok to tell people you’re not having a good day, even if your first impulse is to say “good!”

It’s also ok to say “No, I don’t have time for that today” when someone asks for your time. Setting boundaries is necessary in life to prevent burn out and stress. Sometimes all it takes is that extra 3 seconds to become mindfully self aware and answer in a way that reflects honesty.

3. Practice more Self-Love

As I’ve mentioned before, it isn’t always comfortable or easy to be honest and authentic. But showing up in your life as 100% YOU is giving yourself the respect and love you deserve.

You deserve to share your honest feelings and ideas. You deserve to be yourself, even if you think being honest will cause you to be disliked.

It all starts with self love and self care.

Practice ways to build your confidence by speaking up even when you feel nervous, or by trying a new hobby even if it’s outside your comfort zone.

Practice self care by taking a bubble bath, going for a jog, or going out for a girls night. Do things that make you feel happy, energized, and alive! Show yourself the love you deserve.

To me, being authentic and honest IS a way to love and respect yourself. When we are honest with ourselves and honest with others, we are saying to ourselves, “I respect and value what I have to say. I love myself enough to be truthful in the way I live my life.” That is true self love.

To Recap

To recap, when you’re more honest and authentic each day, you’ll experience three main benefits. First, you’ll feel more empowered. It’s empowering to decide not to censor yourself and instead, to let your true self shine through. Second, it’s easier to build trust. All relationships are built on trust and without honesty and authenticity, those relationships won’t last. When we are honest, people can tell, and it will make your relationship so much stronger. Third, you’ll feel more aligned with yourself. Being authentic aligns you with the best version of you!

I also went over three practical tips to becoming more honest. The first is to be honest with yourself. Practice becoming more self aware because honesty starts within. Ask yourself the tough question in order to get to know yourself deeper. The second is to pause before you speak. If you often find yourself giving automatic responses without putting authentic thought into it, pausing before you speak can be helpful. The third, and last tip, is to practice self love. Being authentic is so much easier when you consistently practice self love and self care.