The world of self improvement is an exciting one; full of inspiring books, motivational speakers, goal setting, and ultimately, learning to become the best you can be. I’m truly obsessed with all things self-help (which explains why I have a blog about it!) and I love helping others on a similar journey.

But while self-help is amazing and inspiring, there’s also a more negative side that doesn’t get talked about enough. And it’s the issue of self acceptance. What happens when you’re determined to become a better version of you, but you don’t love who you already are?

Self-acceptance needs to be the fuel driving your passion for self improvement! So even if you want to reach some new goals, you need to start by accepting where you’re at now. And if you want to get healthy and fit, you need to start by accepting your body as it is. And if you want to kick some bad habits to the curb, you need to accept the reasons you started those bad habits in the first place.

Self improvement without already having self acceptance is only going to cause you to feel miserable, bad about yourself, and burnt out.

To give you an example, a few years ago, I became really really passionate about fitness and clean-eating. I started going to the gym daily and eating meals full of whole, natural foods. But what started as a passionate drive towards becoming healthier, quickly turned into an unhealthy obsession.

Since I wasn’t coming from a place of body positivity and acceptance, I was starting to feel miserable. I was pushing myself way too hard at the gym, experiencing awful guilt anytime I ate anything “unhealthy”, and was obsessing over every little thing I ate.

It was draining!

Although self-improvement is wonderful, it can be easy to take it too far and end up feeling worse about yourself. Here are three action steps you can take to help you strike a healthy balance self-improvement and self-acceptance.

Ask yourself WHY you want to change.

What’s your motivation behind what your doing? Whether it’s working out, starting a business, or practicing meditation it’s helpful to remember WHY you want to improve in a certain area.

Are you working out to feel stronger and healthier? Or are you working out because someone else told you you should? Are you starting a yoga practice because you want to become more mindful in your life, or because you want to post cute yoga pics on your Instagram?

If the reason you’re trying to improve is to look good for others, you’re not doing it from a place of self-acceptance. So get really clear and honest with yourself about WHY you want to improve in the first place.

Monitor if it’s going too far

If you’re not keeping yourself in check, you might end up taking your love for self-improvement too far. If you’re excessively counting calories or keeping a super-strict morning routine, you might be doing more harm than good.

To know if you’re taking it too far, simply ask yourself, “Do I feel good doing this? And does this make me feel good about myself?”

If you’re starting to feel burnt out, tired, anxious, jealous, or any other kind of negative emotions, than those are red flags that you could be taking your self-improvement too far.

Improving yourself and your life should feel good, exciting, passionate, and healthy! It’s not always going to feel easy, but it should feel like a positive part of your life.

Practice self care and gratitude

Lastly, in order to strike a balance between self-improvement and self-acceptance, practice consistent self love and gratitude!

Self care means doing healthy activities that fill you up and give you energy in some way. If you’re tired, a self-care activity might be lighting some candles and reading a book. If you’re feeling bored or stuck in your life, self-care might mean heading to a museum or a concert where you can feel inspired. Other self care ideas include creating art, having a game-night with friends, going for a walk in nature, or buying a new, fuzzy robe.

If you struggle with making self care a consistent practice, make sure to grab the free, printable self-care checklists and tracker at the bottom of this page!

Gratitude can be a really helpful way to turn your focus onto everything you are, instead of everything you aren’t.

To practice gratitude, think of all the qualities you love about yourself and your life. When I wake up in the morning, I like to start my day by thinking about 5 things I’m grateful for. This simple practice has really helped to shift my mindset into a positive one full of self-love and acceptance.

Try these gratitude journal prompts to help get started!

I really help this post was helpful. Striking a balance between self-improvement and self-acceptance is SO important. Without the acceptance piece, it’s easy to get burnt out and do more harm than good. But when you love yourself and accept yourself, flaws and all, it’s so much easier (and more enjoyable!) to work towards new goals and dreams.