How do I overcome negative thoughts? How do I become more positive?

Negative thoughts can cause anxiety, lead to depression, ruin relations, and cause you to doubt yourself. Negative thoughts can take over your life and leave you feeling powerless.

I’ve definitely experienced slumps where I’ve felt really down and full of negative thoughts, and it’s not fun. But there are ways to overcome negative thoughts to become a more positive, optimistic person and I’m going to share with you exactly how.

What are some examples of negative thoughts?

“I want to apply for a new job, but I don’t think I’m qualified enough.”

“I’m such a failure because my life isn’t how I want it to be.”

“Things just never go my way.”

“I’m too shy to do that.”

“What if I try to start this new hobby, and I make a fool of myself?”

“I’m too old (or too young) to make the changes that I want in my life.”

What causes negative thoughts?

You won’t be able to change your negative thoughts without first looking at the root cause of them. It doesn’t matter how many positive affirmations you say. Repeating, “I’m so happy and I’m such a positive person” isn’t going to change anything if you don’t actually feel that way.

Negative thoughts can be caused by things like jealousy, negative childhood experiences, comparison, unhappiness in current job or life situation, and negative-self talk repeated over time. And sometimes we just don’t know why we’re having negative thoughts or where they’re coming from.

Exploring and bringing awareness to the cause of our negative thoughts is the first step towards becoming more positive.

How can we overcome negative thoughts?

These are some powerful and useful questions to ask yourself next time you have a negative thought. You can find all these questions in a helpful worksheet provided for free below!

1.Start by asking yourself, “Is this thought true?”

Each time you have a negative thought, think about if it’s really true. If you’re thought is, “Things never go my way”, ask yourself if it’s true. Do things really never go my way? Never? More often than not, these negative thoughts are generalized and exaggerated. When we can realize that it’s not true, it’s easier to change.

2. Do I have supporting evidence that this thought is true?

To take it a step further, look for evidence whether the thought is true. In the case above, you might start trying to think of times things have gone your way. Have you ever won something? Have you ever had an achievement? Have you ever felt proud of something? Chances are, something in your life has gone right.

3. What’s the worst that could happen?

Let’s say your thought is, “I want to apply for a new job, but I don’t think I’m qualified enough.” Ask yourself, what’s the worst that could happen if I apply to this job? Maybe you’ll apply and you won’t be qualified enough, and they’ll say no. In all reality, that’s probably the worst that’s going to happen.

4. What’s the best thing that could happen?

Rather than think about all the things that could go wrong, ask yourself, Whats the best thing that could happen if I apply to this job? The answer might be that you get the job and you love it! You might feel fulfilled and happy every day.

5. Am I having this negative thought because I’m unhappy about something else?

I know that sometimes when I have a bad day, it will effect everything else that I’m doing and thinking. Have you ever stubbed your toe and then for the next couple minutes you’re full of negativity and anger? Sometimes we start having negative thoughts because we’re really feeling negative about something else. Identifying where the negative thought is coming from can be helpful in the moment.

6. Am I blaming someone else and not taking responsibility?

Have you ever got really bad road rage? Earlier today I was driving and I didn’t know where I was going and I kept getting annoyed with all the drivers around me. But truthfully, it wasn’t their fault. They weren’t really doing anything wrong. I was the one who didn’t know where I was going. Sometimes our negative thoughts take the blame off of ourselves and place it on someone else, which isn’t productive or useful.

7. Am I jumping to conclusions?

Let’s pretend you’re thought is, “My friend didn’t call me and she said she would. She must not like me anymore!” Sometimes we jump to conclusions without considering other possibilities. Maybe you’re friend’s phone died or something came up. Assuming that she doesn’t like you is jumping to conclusions, and is probably not true!

Negative thoughts can really cause us to feel anxious, upset, and unworthy. But asking yourself these questions can be really helpful so we can become more positive.

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