What is self worth? And how can you improve it, even though no one ever really taught you how?

What is self worth?

Self worth, at it’s core, is seeing the value of who you are. It’s knowing that you are important, good enough, and worthy of all of your desires. It’s feeling good about who you are and truly believing in yourself.

What happens when you have low self worth?

Low self worth can manifest in your life in a lot of different ways. You might:

• Lack confidence
• Get stuck in cycles of self-sabotage
• Experience imposter syndrome
• Doubt yourself and your abilities
• Find yourself seeking validation and approval from others

How can you improve your self worth and feel more worthy?

First, recognize that low-self worth is really common and it’s nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed by. I’ve had clients come to me saying things like, “Well, I’m 40 years old. I shouldn’t be struggling with this kind of thing!” IT’S OK! Whether you are 20, 40, or 100, it’s normal to experience low-self worth.

And when you think about all of the messages and societal beliefs we’ve picked up on since we were kids… it actually makes a TON of sense why so many women struggle with low self worth as adults! So let’s start there.

First, let’s identify the root of self worth.

When we are talking about self worth, we are talking about something that comes from WITHIN. Yet, I don’t think many of us grew up to believe it was something already within us. Many of us grew up believing it was something that had to be attained or earned.

NOT TRUE!

Here are some common limiting beliefs that you may have picked up on as a kid that affected your self worth:

1. YOUR LOOKS. Maybe you learned that you are worthy and “good enough” if you look a certain way. If you’re skinny, or wear certain clothes, have a certain color skin. Just think about all of the magazines, fashion ads, and movies that have perpetuated this idea!
2. YOUR INTELLIGENCE. You might’ve learned as a kid that you were good enough if you were “smart enough.” You might’ve learned to base your self worth off of your grades, your test scores, or how fast you could do your times-tables.
3. YOUR PRODUCTIVITY. You might’ve learned that in order to be good enough, you have to be a hard worker and get a lot done. As an adult with this underlying beleif, you might be someone who overworks and doesn’t take much time for self care.
4. YOUR POPULARITY: You might’ve learned that you are goof enough if you have a lot of friends or get a lot of compliments.

I’m sure you can even think of a few beyond the 4 that I listed. With all of these beliefs we internalize as kids, IT’S NO WONDER so many of us struggle with self-worth as adults, right?!!

This is YEARS of conditioning that we need to repair and re-learn. (and if you’re interested in getting my personal support in this, check out my coaching page to learn more about my 1:1 coaching!)

5 Tips to Improve your Self Worth

1. Work on forgiving and releasing

Chances are, you have some forgiveness work to do. Whether that’s forgiving yourself for believing you weren’t enough, or if it’s forgiving your parent for ever making you feel that way… forgiveness is a great place to start. So often, I see my clients hold onto the past for fear of letting it go. But there’s a certain freedom that comes with releasing the past.

Grab your journal and write the questions:

• Who must I forgive for making me feel like I wasn’t already enough as I am?
• Do I need to forgive myself for holding onto that untrue belief?
• How can I let go of the past?

Forgiveness doesn’t need to mean that it’s ok. What forgiveness DOES mean: You love yourself enough to set yourself free from holding on to it.

2. Work on reframing your belief systems

A great way to do this is to simply notice the negative thoughts that might come up for you. Maybe you can relate to having thoughts like, “I’m not pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough to do the thing I wanna do” or “I could never do that!”

It can be really powerful to take these negative thoughts and instead of keeping them in your head, actually write them down or say them out loud. From there, you can ask yourself, “Is this thought REALLY true?” (hint: probably not!)

And then from there, you can work on creating new beliefs that feel more empowering and better to you.

3. Write out affirmations

I love encouraging my clients to write out positive affirmations such as “I was born worthy” or “I don’t need to get validation from others in order to know I’m good enough.”

These short statement serve as powerful reminders! Write them on a sticky note, set a reminder to come up on your phone, or simply just keep these thoughts in mind anytime you need a boost!

4. Do some self-identity work

Who are you? What do you love? What do you want? If anything was possible, how would you live your life?

Diving deep into your identity is a powerful way to improve your self worth! Why? Because when you know who you are, then you are unstoppable. I encourage you to check out my Journaling Your Way to Clarity Membership if you’re looking for a way to journal more for self discovery!

5. Take action!

Often, this is the hardest part. It’s easy to consume a lot of information and say, “Yeah, I’ll do that someday” but then never actually get around to it. The more you can take action towards the women you want to become, then the more you will actually become her. Self worth starts with taking small action steps each.

Take action, even when others don’t get it.

Take action, even when you’re scared.

Take action ESPECIALLY when you feel like you intuition is calling you towards something.

You are SO worthy. XO, mindset coach,

Ashley